From a Cluttered Desk

I am Tammy Cardwell, she of the cluttered desk. (Hey, you think I'm kidding?!) I'm having a blast here in Blogland and invite to you to peruse my ramblings. Like a buffet, they offer variety - essentially whatever makes it to the top of the piles that sometimes clutter my brain. We'll eventually cover it all - homeschooling, God, our church, the Eclectic Homeschool Online, books I'm writing and publishing, conferences I speak at, the joys of grandmotherhood, and hopefully chocolate. Of course, this is only what's near the top now. Who knows what's in those piles?

Who knew?

Who knew, a year ago, that today would see me learning how to deal with a man who has had a triple bypass, a full-blown stroke, and become an insulin-dependent diabetic?

I know the answer, of course. God knew. And obviously God did not tell me because he knew I would be running in terror.

Okay, so I wouldn’t really, because I do know that God gives me everything I need to be everyone I need to be. It’s just that…well…sleep deprivation gets old and having to schedule my days around my husband’s medical needs gets old and trying to figure out how to pay for medicines and doctor visits gets old and not knowing from one day to the next if I’m going to be able to go to work because there’s no one available to sit with him gets old and…

But, on the other hand, someone told me at church yesterday that Jack actually talked to her. She was seriously smiling. This is huge, because in recent years he’s been almost totally silent around everyone but me. He’s specialized in monosyllabic answers to all questions to such an extent that some people actually wondered if he liked them. He’s talking again; he obviously feels a lot better now, bless God.

And yes, many of the issues I’m dealing with today will be gone before too very very long. There’s one medicine that is out-of-this-world expensive. It’s a temporary medicine and I’ve been praying that the issue it’s connected to resolve itself this week so that I don’t have to refill the scrip. I do NOT want to spend over $130 for a two-week supply of this drug. The Lipitor they’ve put him on is bad enough!

But he is getting stronger every day. He fell several times over the weekend, but he’s not fallen in two days now. This is huge. Also, his evening blood glucose levels have been so much lower that three out of the last five evenings he’s not had to take insulin at all. Yes, also huge. When I’m suffering from sleep deprivation due to his still being on a hospital schedule (Seven weeks of being awakened every two hours…), I remind myself that things are truly improving every day.

You know how, in the marriage vows, you say you’ll stick with the person for better or for worse through sickness and in health? Well, young people, I advise you to take those vows seriously from the start, because that “for worse” part really can get bad. You don’t think about such things when you’re 19 (My age when we married), but they matter when you’re nearly 50 (I’m 48 as of last month). Would I still say the vows? Absolutely, but I would have been less naive about what the future holds and would have done a LOT more preparations for a future such as the one I’m living today.

Looking back, there are so many things I would do differently.
I guess everyone says that eventually, huh?

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C