From a Cluttered Desk

I am Tammy Cardwell, she of the cluttered desk. (Hey, you think I'm kidding?!) I'm having a blast here in Blogland and invite to you to peruse my ramblings. Like a buffet, they offer variety - essentially whatever makes it to the top of the piles that sometimes clutter my brain. We'll eventually cover it all - homeschooling, God, our church, the Eclectic Homeschool Online, books I'm writing and publishing, conferences I speak at, the joys of grandmotherhood, and hopefully chocolate. Of course, this is only what's near the top now. Who knows what's in those piles?

Who knew?

Who knew, a year ago, that today would see me learning how to deal with a man who has had a triple bypass, a full-blown stroke, and become an insulin-dependent diabetic?

I know the answer, of course. God knew. And obviously God did not tell me because he knew I would be running in terror.

Okay, so I wouldn’t really, because I do know that God gives me everything I need to be everyone I need to be. It’s just that…well…sleep deprivation gets old and having to schedule my days around my husband’s medical needs gets old and trying to figure out how to pay for medicines and doctor visits gets old and not knowing from one day to the next if I’m going to be able to go to work because there’s no one available to sit with him gets old and…

But, on the other hand, someone told me at church yesterday that Jack actually talked to her. She was seriously smiling. This is huge, because in recent years he’s been almost totally silent around everyone but me. He’s specialized in monosyllabic answers to all questions to such an extent that some people actually wondered if he liked them. He’s talking again; he obviously feels a lot better now, bless God.

And yes, many of the issues I’m dealing with today will be gone before too very very long. There’s one medicine that is out-of-this-world expensive. It’s a temporary medicine and I’ve been praying that the issue it’s connected to resolve itself this week so that I don’t have to refill the scrip. I do NOT want to spend over $130 for a two-week supply of this drug. The Lipitor they’ve put him on is bad enough!

But he is getting stronger every day. He fell several times over the weekend, but he’s not fallen in two days now. This is huge. Also, his evening blood glucose levels have been so much lower that three out of the last five evenings he’s not had to take insulin at all. Yes, also huge. When I’m suffering from sleep deprivation due to his still being on a hospital schedule (Seven weeks of being awakened every two hours…), I remind myself that things are truly improving every day.

You know how, in the marriage vows, you say you’ll stick with the person for better or for worse through sickness and in health? Well, young people, I advise you to take those vows seriously from the start, because that “for worse” part really can get bad. You don’t think about such things when you’re 19 (My age when we married), but they matter when you’re nearly 50 (I’m 48 as of last month). Would I still say the vows? Absolutely, but I would have been less naive about what the future holds and would have done a LOT more preparations for a future such as the one I’m living today.

Looking back, there are so many things I would do differently.
I guess everyone says that eventually, huh?

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Jack did come home late on Monday evening and he improves daily. After having a heart attack, a triple bypass, AND a stroke…. Yeah, it’s exciting to see the continual progress. I thank God often.

The to do list, though… Why does it seem to constantly get even longer?

I’m sitting in a hospital room. This is…lemme see… This is the 9th hospital room in three different hospital buildings since Jack had a heart attack on December 8th.

Can we say insane? At least I’ve felt that way more than once. Exhaustion, too, is a word I am entirely familiar with.

They actually thought he would be going home for Christmas. He was doing great after having a triple bypass - walking around, eating, body functioning the way it was supposed to. Then he developed a staff infection that had to be treated. And then there came the pain-filled nights when they gave him Vicotin - and learned the hard way that he cannot tolerate it. Oh MAN can he not tolerate it. I won’t go into all of the complications, but I will say that for two days during the weekend after Christmas we were on what sounded like a totally fabulous vacation in Scotland. He remembers nothing of those delusion-filled days now, but if we ever go on a vacation half that good…

We’re looking at a possible Monday release date and I have an absolutely enormous to do list where he is concerned. I’ve totally lost track of the number of doctors he has and how many different doctors he is going to need to be seeing once he gets out of here. yech

How’s this for a catch-up-after-an-eternity blog post? Sorry.

Ah…but there is some other really exciting news. We will have a new granddaughter come June. Connor has been prophesying a little sister for many many months - long before the kids gave any indication at all that they would consider having another - and when the ultrasound tech told them on Monday that it was a girl, his response was apparently, “Like I said!” I would be excited regardless, but I really am looking forward to having a baby girl doll to play with after all the testosterone poisoning I’ve endured my adult life. LOL!

Yeah, things are looking up. Jack is definitely on the upturn and the doctor that came in while I was typing this says that he is hoping to release Jack to go home on Monday. “Home” is a relative term at the moment, but that’s another story entirely and one I’m not inclined to go into at the moment.

2010 is a new year and I’m ready for great things!