From a Cluttered Desk

I am Tammy Cardwell, she of the cluttered desk. (Hey, you think I'm kidding?!) I'm having a blast here in Blogland and invite to you to peruse my ramblings. Like a buffet, they offer variety - essentially whatever makes it to the top of the piles that sometimes clutter my brain. We'll eventually cover it all - homeschooling, God, our church, the Eclectic Homeschool Online, books I'm writing and publishing, conferences I speak at, the joys of grandmotherhood, and hopefully chocolate. Of course, this is only what's near the top now. Who knows what's in those piles?

Who knew?

Who knew, a year ago, that today would see me learning how to deal with a man who has had a triple bypass, a full-blown stroke, and become an insulin-dependent diabetic?

I know the answer, of course. God knew. And obviously God did not tell me because he knew I would be running in terror.

Okay, so I wouldn’t really, because I do know that God gives me everything I need to be everyone I need to be. It’s just that…well…sleep deprivation gets old and having to schedule my days around my husband’s medical needs gets old and trying to figure out how to pay for medicines and doctor visits gets old and not knowing from one day to the next if I’m going to be able to go to work because there’s no one available to sit with him gets old and…

But, on the other hand, someone told me at church yesterday that Jack actually talked to her. She was seriously smiling. This is huge, because in recent years he’s been almost totally silent around everyone but me. He’s specialized in monosyllabic answers to all questions to such an extent that some people actually wondered if he liked them. He’s talking again; he obviously feels a lot better now, bless God.

And yes, many of the issues I’m dealing with today will be gone before too very very long. There’s one medicine that is out-of-this-world expensive. It’s a temporary medicine and I’ve been praying that the issue it’s connected to resolve itself this week so that I don’t have to refill the scrip. I do NOT want to spend over $130 for a two-week supply of this drug. The Lipitor they’ve put him on is bad enough!

But he is getting stronger every day. He fell several times over the weekend, but he’s not fallen in two days now. This is huge. Also, his evening blood glucose levels have been so much lower that three out of the last five evenings he’s not had to take insulin at all. Yes, also huge. When I’m suffering from sleep deprivation due to his still being on a hospital schedule (Seven weeks of being awakened every two hours…), I remind myself that things are truly improving every day.

You know how, in the marriage vows, you say you’ll stick with the person for better or for worse through sickness and in health? Well, young people, I advise you to take those vows seriously from the start, because that “for worse” part really can get bad. You don’t think about such things when you’re 19 (My age when we married), but they matter when you’re nearly 50 (I’m 48 as of last month). Would I still say the vows? Absolutely, but I would have been less naive about what the future holds and would have done a LOT more preparations for a future such as the one I’m living today.

Looking back, there are so many things I would do differently.
I guess everyone says that eventually, huh?

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Jack did come home late on Monday evening and he improves daily. After having a heart attack, a triple bypass, AND a stroke…. Yeah, it’s exciting to see the continual progress. I thank God often.

The to do list, though… Why does it seem to constantly get even longer?

I’m sitting in a hospital room. This is…lemme see… This is the 9th hospital room in three different hospital buildings since Jack had a heart attack on December 8th.

Can we say insane? At least I’ve felt that way more than once. Exhaustion, too, is a word I am entirely familiar with.

They actually thought he would be going home for Christmas. He was doing great after having a triple bypass - walking around, eating, body functioning the way it was supposed to. Then he developed a staff infection that had to be treated. And then there came the pain-filled nights when they gave him Vicotin - and learned the hard way that he cannot tolerate it. Oh MAN can he not tolerate it. I won’t go into all of the complications, but I will say that for two days during the weekend after Christmas we were on what sounded like a totally fabulous vacation in Scotland. He remembers nothing of those delusion-filled days now, but if we ever go on a vacation half that good…

We’re looking at a possible Monday release date and I have an absolutely enormous to do list where he is concerned. I’ve totally lost track of the number of doctors he has and how many different doctors he is going to need to be seeing once he gets out of here. yech

How’s this for a catch-up-after-an-eternity blog post? Sorry.

Ah…but there is some other really exciting news. We will have a new granddaughter come June. Connor has been prophesying a little sister for many many months - long before the kids gave any indication at all that they would consider having another - and when the ultrasound tech told them on Monday that it was a girl, his response was apparently, “Like I said!” I would be excited regardless, but I really am looking forward to having a baby girl doll to play with after all the testosterone poisoning I’ve endured my adult life. LOL!

Yeah, things are looking up. Jack is definitely on the upturn and the doctor that came in while I was typing this says that he is hoping to release Jack to go home on Monday. “Home” is a relative term at the moment, but that’s another story entirely and one I’m not inclined to go into at the moment.

2010 is a new year and I’m ready for great things!

My second grandchild, who many people (Including big brother) are hoping is a girl, is due on June 17th.

The doctor says that date could change; it’s the date they came up with after today’s sonogram.

I’m going to be a grandmother again!

Yes, this has me grinning ear to ear. I’ve known for a bit, of course, and even announced it on Facebook, but wasn’t shouting from the rooftops until this doctor’s visit. Now that my daughter-in-love has posted the sonogram pic to her blog, I figure it’s safe to talk about it here.

And of course names have already been discussed. Well, girl names have been discussed with me anyway, because everyone knows I’m rather hoping for a girl. I like the name they’d chosen in case Connor was a girl. Connor has his own name picked out. Sheree has a totally different name picked out. I guess we’ll have to see what happens, huh? LOL!

Life can really make you smile at times, you know?

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

You’ve not heard a peep out of me for months on end. I apologize for this, but I honestly don’t know that I would have come to post if I’d had the time and freedom. It’s been THAT kind of season.

I remember, in our early years of homeschooling, sitting in Greg Harrison’s "Seasons of Life" seminar and wondering how each of the seasons would affect me. Over all, the transition from one season to the next has been easy. Even having both sons move out of the house was a piece of cake, in a sense, and grandmotherhood has been fabulous.

This most recent season, though… It’s been a little more challenging, taking up pretty much all of my attention and leaving me without comprehensible words to share even if I’d had the time to share them. It has been a  season of picking new things up and putting down a few things that I thought I would hold onto until the day Jesus came.

The biggest thing I’ve picked up is a full-time job at my church. This is a position I’ve wanted for ten years, a chance to minister full time and affect people’s lives locally in an eternal way. It keeps me busy like nothing I’ve ever done before and I love pretty much every minute of it.

It also challenges me like nothing I’ve ever done before. I’ll be honest; I sometimes face those challenges with something less than enthusiasm, but I rejoice in all I’ve learned and there’s nothing like the feeling of accomplishment that comes when you finally figure out something that had previously seemed impossible.

And that’s all I can share for now, but I will try to make an effort to come back periodically and at least try to update this poor, neglected blog. There are some exciting things coming in my life and I’m looking forward to them. Hopefully I’ll be able to fill you in so you can look forward to them with me.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Behind the scenes video…

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Her name is Susan Boyle and she’s taught thousands of people not to prejudge someone’s abilities by their appearance or presentation.

I wish I could embed the video, but they’re not allowing it, so do yourself a favor and go watch this clip from Britain’s Got Talent’s 2009 talent search. See 47-year-old Susan Boyle completely floor the judges and everyone else when she sings "I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Miserables.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

If you live in Austin, Texas, you might be shouting, "YES!!!!"

This is too seriously cool. You’ll find the whole article at TrekMovie.com. Here’s the first paragraph. Oh those lucky people!

Tonight Paramount pulled off one of the coolest stunts in fan history. Promoted as just a 10 minute preview of the new Star Trek to show along with The Wrath of Khan, tonight fans in Austin, TX were actually shown the entire new Star Trek movie. The event included surprise guests, including the original Spock himself, Leonard Nimoy. [UPDATE: A number of reviews are already in - we have a summary of those below]

The language in some of the reviews is..shall we say…less than delightful. I’d watch who’s reading over your shoulder.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

I’m not sure I remember how to change my profile picture on the whole website, but for the benefit of those who have wondered about my new blondness…

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C